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Probation Officer and Adult Volunteer Leader for the High School Ministry of Granger Community Church.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Random Thursday – Chuck Norris Facts

And now, random facts about Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris invented time zones in order to more efficiently schedule world wide butt kickings.

For fun, Chuck Norris likes to visit Veterinary Hospitals. When asked if he has a sick pet, Chuck Norris flexes and says, "These pythons are pretty sick."

Chuck Norris doesn't ask permission, he grants it.

Chuck Norris doesn't bathe like the rest of us. The only baths Chuck Norris takes are blood baths.

Chuck Norris doesn't fart, he makes smelly tornadoes.

Chuck Norris once knocked out Mike Tyson in a bare knuckle boxing match... with both hands tied behind his back.

Scientists have attempted to calculate the statistical possibilty of anyone beating Chuck Norris. The sheer impossibility of this task has caused many of the scientists to develop symptoms of severe foot-shaped bruising to the face.

The Sun was actually the explosion resulting from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicking God after he was told "thou shalt not kill".

Chuck Norris once used a butterfly knife camping. This may not sound special but he used it to build a tent, start a fire and kill a deer. Oh, and as a compass.

Chuck Norris can lick his elbow.
... NO, I did not make these up. They were found at However, not all of them are suitable for publication. If you travel to view more Chuck Norris facts, do so at your own risk.


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